Welcome to my site.

You’ve taken the first step toward a better you.

Searching for a therapist is hard. Prioritizing your mental health is too, but you’re doing it, right now.

If you keep finding yourself in the same toxic relationships…

if you’ve read all the self-help books but cannot seem to find true happiness…

if you strive for perfection but your best never feels good enough…

You’re in the right place.

I can help you learn to prioritize yourself and become the best version of you.

Providing in person and virtual therapy in Newport Beach, CA. In network with Aetna, Anthem, Cigna and Evernorth, Heath Net, Managed Health Network (MHN), Optum, Oscar Health, United Medical Resources (UMR), and United Healthcare UHC/UBH

I’m Heather,

an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in codependency. I work with individuals who prioritize the needs and desires of another person, often someone struggling with addiction. I support those who feel an irresistible urge to "fix" another's problems but sacrifice their own well-being in the process.

​​I understand how hard it is to practice “tough love” and to let your loved one struggle with their addiction. As your therapist, I intend to support you as you learn to prioritize yourself, recognize and value your emotions, and make fulfilling decisions that leave you feeling empowered and balanced.

What to Expect during Therapy

Many people enter therapy unsure of exactly what they need but aware that something isn’t right. You might feel stuck in patterns of over-giving, managing others' emotions, or struggling with boundaries. If you’re feeling emotionally exhausted, I can offer the support you need to shift focus back to yourself.

Consultation Call

This initial call is a chance for us to connect and determine if we’re a good fit. During the free 15-minute consultation, we’ll discuss your reasons for coming to therapy, explore whether our therapeutic relationship feels right, and I’ll answer any questions you have.

Your comfort is essential for effective therapy. If I’m not the best match for your needs, I’ll gladly provide referrals to other therapists who may be a better fit for your needs.

First Session

After our initial phone consultation, you'll be provided with paperwork, including forms for personal details, treatment consent, and confidentiality guidelines.

You will have the option of meeting for 50 minutes at my office in Newport Beach or online.

During our first meeting, I’ll ask about various aspects of your life—such as your family and medical history, social connections, and the reasons you’re seeking therapy. Feel free to share anything else you believe is important. This will help me understand your needs, and together we’ll establish short- and long-term goals to guide our work in therapy.

Cancellation Policy

Cancellations need to be made outside of 24 hours before your session.

If you cancel within 24 hours or do not cancel and don’t show up, you will be charged the amount insurance would pay for your session.

Reasons to seek therapy:

  • Anxiety and overwhelm

  • Trouble sleeping

  • Depression or persistent sadness

  • Lack of motivation

  • Divorce/Separation

  • Relationship issues, including conflict or communication difficulties

  • Codependency or boundary issues

  • Family or parenting concerns.

  • Grief and loss

  • Life transitions (e.g., divorce, career change)

  • Low self-esteem or self-worth issues

  • Substance use or addiction

  • Emotional regulation challenges (e.g., anger, overwhelm)

  • Coping with chronic illness or pain

  • Personal growth and self-exploration

You have been swept away

Their problems have become your problems, and that’s a problem.

 FAQs

  • Healthy empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another person without losing sight of your own emotional boundaries. It is about being present and supportive.

  • Codependency is a pattern of behavior where you become overly reliant on someone else for your emotional well-being and sense of self-worth. Codependency often happens in close relationships, like with a partner, family member, or friend. You might find yourself constantly sacrificing your own needs and desires to meet the needs of the other person, even if it's not healthy for you. You might feel like you need to "fix" their problems or make them happy at the expense of your own happiness.

  • In a codependent relationship, boundaries become blurry, and you may struggle to assert yourself or prioritize your own needs. You might feel like you're walking on eggshells to avoid conflict or keep the peace, even if it means suppressing your own feelings or desires. You find yourself putting up with underachievement, irresponsibility, procrastination, immaturity, addiction, or poor mental or physical health. You might even make excuses for them.

  • Motivation: Healthy empathy is motivated by a genuine desire to support and understand others, while maintaining personal well-being. Codependency is driven by a need for validation, control, or fear of abandonment.

    Boundaries: Empathetic individuals maintain clear emotional boundaries, whereas codependent individuals have difficulty distinguishing their own emotions and needs from those of others.

    Outcome: Healthy empathy leads to balanced and mutually satisfying relationships. Codependency often results in unbalanced, draining relationships where one person may feel overwhelmed and the other may feel suffocated or overly dependent.

  • The word enable refers to the well-intended removal of negative natural consequences that would ordinarily serve to decrease a behavior.

  • Let's say someone consistently covers for their friend who frequently misses work due to excessive drinking. Instead of letting their friend face the consequences of their actions, such as getting reprimanded or even fired, they call in sick on their behalf or make excuses for them to their employer. This enables their friend to continue their destructive behavior without facing the natural consequences of their actions.

  • Caregiving is helping someone out of love and concern while respecting their independence. Caretaking involves excessive help that can lead to dependency and neglect of one's own needs.

Codependency Behaviors

  • You feel an irresistible urge to take care of others and fix their problems, and it interferes with your life. You just can’t stop worrying about others and helping them, especially if addiction is involved. You are empathetic and affected by their addiction.

  • You to spend a lot of time trying to convince others that you know what’s best for them; but when your focus is on others, you lose sight of yourself. You become codependent.

  • While trying to force a solution to another’s problems, you to become irritated, discouraged and sad; even hopeless. You find yourself depleted by the weight of your compassion.

  • When your relationship is codependent you fear conflict, lack boundaries, have a compulsive need to gain others’ approval, and have difficulty recognizing and expressing emotion.

  • People tell you they don’t want your advice, that you interrupt, and don’t listen. You feel resentful, bitter, defensive, insecure, tired, powerless, and out of control. After all, you are only trying to help.

Addiction and Codependency

Addiction impacts every family member. Whether you grew up in a household directly affected by addiction or your parents did, its effects reached you.

You were affected by:

  • the addict’s irresponsible choices

  • the need to pretend everything was okay

  • the constant tension

  • the caretaking

  • the times when the addict got sober and then relapsed

  • the daily traumas of living with an addict or

  • the trauma of living with someone who grew up affected by addiction but is unaware of how it affected them.

You were the person who took care of things when the adults in your life were unable to, or you were the one who mediated family fights. You didn’t have the capacity to focus on your own mental wellness.

If you grew up in a chaotic, abusive, or neglectful environment, your surroundings seemed more important than your feelings and emotions. As a child, paying close attention to your environment is a way to survive. As an adult, this vigilance becomes a lack of boundaries, obsessive caretaking or “fixing,” codependency, anxiety, and depression.

You feel a persistent sense of discontent. You might find yourself in a relationship with an addict or taking responsibility for other people’s lives. You are in a helping profession, or you sacrifice for others in your personal life. You struggle with anxiety and depression.

You feel uncomfortable with silence or when things are calm. You feel as though you need to fill the space with something.

You have an obsessive need to be right. Even when you aren’t passionate about the topic you are passionate about winning the conversation with the most right opinion.

You’ve read all the self-help books and tried other therapy, but nothing seems to work.

Addiction does not discriminate. People from every income, race, religion, age, and gender are affected. Those impacted by addiction end up struggling in many areas of their lives.